Last year, I decided to write the story of my life.  I envisioned publishers enticing me with large advances and appearances on Oprah.  How naive I was.  I could not even find an agent willing to take me on.  I carefully wrote my query letter to emphasize my scope of experiences, and what I got in return was over a dozen form letters rejecting me.

"I regret that this is not a work I feel I can market at this time."

"I must, unfortunately, report that I do not feel sufficiently enthusiastic about the project to pursue it further."

"Unfortunately, given today's publishing climate we would not be able to get you the attention from a publisher your book deserves."

Is the market saturated with books about childhood abuse?  Has there been too much talk of it in the media and now people don't want to hear it anymore?  Granted, it's not a pleasant topic and can be emotionally draining for the reader.  In today's world that is so full of bad news, many readers are turning to something light and fun to take their minds off real-life drama.

Yet, there are many good reasons for survivors to write their books, aside from their personal catharsis.  These books remind readers to be better parents and to be aware of what children around them may be experiencing.  They help them to understand friends, family and co-workers who may have issues from a bad childhood.  They teach compassion, and help the readers appreciate the things they can be grateful for in their own lives.  These books can inspire someone who has been stuck in bad behavior due to their childhood to get clean, break free or whatever they need to do to have a better life.

I've had various reactions to my book.  Some are eager to read it, while others are clearly uncomfortable with the topic.  We can't force our stories on people, but we should not back down in telling our stories, either.  The public needs to remain aware of the devastating effects of abuse and be vigilant to protect children.  Child abuse is a global problem that needs eradication and educating the public is an important tool.

I recently read a book by a psychologist who said that people should stop telling their stories and talking about what happened in their childhoods.  His theory is that it keeps us from being happy.  Of course, wallowing in any tragedy is not beneficial, but ignoring it is not healthy either.  We process and heal from trauma by talking about it.  It's like a poison that needs to be drained from our systems.  What happens in our childhood affects our entire lives, so one little talk or one good cry isn't going to erase the effects.  Real life isn't like the Dr. Phil show, where one heart searching, tear filled chat cures someone so they can move on no longer hindered by their past.  It just doesn't work that way for most people.  It takes time to work through the many layers of who they are, and to recognize the many ways they react and why they do so.  Hearing or reading about the experiences of others can help us see things in ourselves and help us understand things in our lives and inspire us to change.

I hope the "publishing climate" does not hinder people from telling their stories.  I hope people continue to want to learn from their fellow humans.  I hope people have enough empathy to be willing to examine things that may hurt their hearts and turn their stomachs.  To those who don't turn away because it's unpleasant – thank you.

Deborah Rose